' Letter to myself '

hi all

we would like you all to write a 'letter to myself' on your blog to sum up where you think you are at present an where you want to go in the future. This should be an an honest assessment of what you have learned so far on the course, and what areas you are stronger in, and what areas you need to work on developing more - like a strengths and weaknesses assessment exercise
this will help us and you to concentrate on developing your practice more effectively
if you can do this in advance of your first tutorials it would be a great help

thanks paul

Paul Lowe

(could you all please post

a link to your 'letter' to the tutorial slot you are having with john so he can easily find it)

t

I have been asked to write a 'Letter to myself'

I need to manage my time on the course more productively and leave as much time and effort for producing the work as for writing and presenting the finished work.

I am disappointed in my essay for unit 1:1 I know where I went wrong and yet still handed in the work.

Although I did pass and also believe I came up with some original thought and analysis I realise that without backing this up with academic support and sufficient referencing It has no merit.

I did not really do very well in my BA dissertation either, although I think I express my views,influences and arguments well in person and especially In my mind I have a problem really putting this down on paper in a professional academic way. I need to spend as much time on text as I do with my photographs & research.

Grammar and poor referencing let me down. In small defence I did reference In my text and numerous times within my Bibliography, also my word count was correct, but I did not include the Quotes and title etc.

I was pleased with the mark for my Photostory 'Five floors in Bielany' I worked very hard on this document. The mark was justified I think, just my final presentation etc pulled the mark down, this was In part because I thought that we had to present the work on 'Photoshelter'.

I also edited & scanned the work In the last two weeks left to finish both assignments; I should have left more time to edit and develop the work, but as this work, to me is the most marketable and related In part to my essay I decided to use my work on Chechen refugees In Poland for my Unit 1:2.

In need advice In writing critical texts and referencing etc, but I can spend more time researching and practising this, It is important for applying for funding,Grants,competitions or teaching.

In regard to the Photography and story telling,I do believe I have something to say In a original style, which still leans towards the foundation of documentary photography. This is backed up by the great feedback from my peers and teacher.

Not including the difficulties of getting new work from emerging photographers published, I feel at my age I need to be told the truth about my professional prospects and I need help with brutal editing. So far In my photography career since leaving Newport in 2006 I have had good feedback about my work and no reason to feel disheartened, but everything seems to come only to middle distance.

If its possible I need to know how to improve my presentation and images to become more successful, I think a brace editor or agency might see something worthwhile In my work, but how do I convince them so?

Don't get me wrong I have confidence and belief that I am a good photographer with a different and strong idea of the world and its modern,complex issues. I also feel their is a pressure to conform and commercialise my images in some way to gain more recognition and work in today's industry; compromise.

Also I know I only changed career Five years ago, graduating three years ago, so although I'm over 30 I am still beginning.

But I have to face the facts that If something doesn't move for me In this career; be It a commission, agency acceptance, competition etc (I could consider teaching, but I feel I need more success and experience first) then I will have to consider changing career again and continuing my practise possibly in an amateur way only, I cant afford to struggle anymore. Its been Five years now where I have sacrificed nearly everything for photography.

I don't want this to sound like self pity etc; but It is amazing if people like my work,see something different and believe 'I have something' but without getting any work shown or published its hard to take my opportunities seriously.

I shouldn't jump the gun we are just at the start of the course, I enjoy 99% of all aspects of the course and try to participate In as much as I can. I have more chances than most because I am not working most of the time, making great contacts,listening and being helped by great recognised editors and photographers is what makes Paul's course at LCC so worthwhile. I am really looking forward,(despite the bickering) to the group project.

It is still strange 'online' still feels abstract, and even when I see Paul or John at LCC I feel that I couldn't talk to them now, with all their time taken up by us and the full-time course.

I wish that we could at least all meet in person or at least 1-1 with our tutors if we had the chance, at least 2 or 3 times in the two years. Their is still a detachment I feel, but If it wasn't for the online course I wouldn't have been able to attend at all, so in reality I shouldn't complain, I just hope that we have the same opportunities available to us at the end of the course as the F/T students.

Ive wrote and waffled too much already, so to sum up as Paul suggests my aspirations and purpose for the rest of the course and its conclusion:

I have learned to listen more and strengthen my ideas and purpose from my peers and tutors comments.

I'm more tolerant of other photographers their views and practise even If I don't believe In their images, purpose and ideals. I hope I'm less arrogant and more empathetic.

I need to develop better editing & writing skills and experiment with platforms and the web to bring my purpose and images to a wider audience.

I need to back up original thought with facts and accepted academic ideas.

I am a natural photographer and I can gain trust and connection with my subjects, I need to work on this and gain more confidence.

I need the real help of my course tutors to realise this.

Everyone has different experiences and different perspectives on life using photography but with Paul & Johns help if they can help me find out 'where I am' ,'I can find out where to go'.

Towards the end of course I would like to have produced a saleable book on my 'Chechen' work,an exhibition worthy to be examined by the industry experts,at least one published story and gained one commission and a portfolio good enough to apply for Agence Vu.

Thanks